Discipline

Oh no.

Yesterday Baby A was introduced to the 'naughty mat' for the very first time.

She is generally a very contented toddler and we are very blessed that she is quite happy playing or reading her books and will just sit and entertain herself. Ok not for huge periods of time but long enough for me to sort out a load of washing, for example. So I am pleased she has a little independence and does not need me constantly. As long as she knows I am around somewhere, she is happy to sit and play.

But, as my own mother likes to remind me, 'you can't have it all'.

As with most truths, this is annoyingly so.

Baby A also wants to be independent outside of the house, which I can understand as this is her nature. Except that of course does not work if she wants to walk one way but we need to go another. Or she wants to walk out into the road irrespective of on oncoming vehicles and I clearly want her away from the road. And so on.

Baby A is just that little too young to understand when I say things like 'we have to be careful by the road because there are cars and they could hurt you if you run in front of them' or something similar. I don't want to scare her. I just want to ensure she remains close and safe.

But either way, it's all far too exciting and new and she has these amazing legs which she now knows how to work and they can get her there and there is where she wants to go so what's the problem?! I'm sure if she could vocalise her stream of consciousness, it would go something like that.

That and 'birdie', 'car', 'woof woof ', 'meeoww' and so on. Although those bits she can and does say.

So today was paddy day. We had been with friends and she had been the centre of attention and had a lovely time sat up at the grown up table with us and making everyone laugh etc. but then it was time for the grown ups to watch the rugby at the local pub.

This had disaster written all over it in terms of taking Baby A there, so as it is walking distance home, Baby A and I made our way back. S L O W L Y.

I should point out I had made the error of assuring Mr Big I did not need his assistance to get home. However it was minus 1, snowing, and I'm trying to juggle an independent-minded toddler, a big bag with our things in and her books that are too big to fit in said bag.

And within only moments, the tantrums began. I tried to reason and explain. I did what Super Nanny suggests and got down on her level (not easy with all the stuff) and explained 'I know you want to go that way but you need to follow Mummy'. I tried to keep it succinct and off we went again.

A few more steps down the road and same problem. This time it was because she didn't want to hold Mummy's hand but she also wasnt happy being controlled via the 'lead' on her backpack. Paddy number 2.

So I got back down to her level. Similar tactic followed by 'you can hold Mummy's hand or walk with your backpack. Which do you want to do '. Promoting choice hoping this would work (although I think this is meant for older kiddies as I'm sure she couldn't understand). Not surprisingly all I got was 'No'. Followed by her sitting down on the wet, freezing cold floor.

I said 'ok. I will carry you then' and much to her annoyance, I calmly picked her up and started walking home. On the plus side, this sped up our progress. It was really cold and my hands were so cold they were stinging, so I was pleased to be getting home that little bit faster.

Except Baby A is heavy. And with all the stuff my arms were too weak. So I had to put her down again for the final stretch.

So I did. And I reinforced the earlier message except I didn't offer choice. I simply said 'remember, you must hold Mummy's hand'. Well that was it. Not even a few steps. She instantly threw a tantrum and sat down again. By now I've had enough. So I just picked her up, despite her back-arching, and fuelled by my cross-ness, made it to the front door. I opened the porch, put her down and tried to open the inner door. Except she was still angry so started trying to escape and when she realised I was in her way, decided to bury her face in the wooden door frame. I couldnt see properly but I'm sure she was trying to bite it!

Horrified I got the inner door open and put her inside, where she immediately lay back on the floor screaming at me. That was it. I broke. 'Enough' I said. Firmly. She knew I was cross and screamed at me some more. 'YOU are going on the naughty mat' I said and calmly opened the bag and pulled out the changing mat. 'this is the naughty mat and you are going to sit on it because you have been naughty'.

I put the mat in front of the wall, picked her up and plonked her down on the mat. I walked straight off into the kitchen and counted the seconds. After about 30 she tried to get up. I walked back and said 'you must sit there because you have been naughty'. I walked off again, pretending to do my usual things in the kitchen and ignoring her (although keeping an eye so she didn't move off the mat). I couldn't believe it. She sat there for a full minute and by the end if the minute she was calm. She hadn't stopped crying but she wasn't angry.

I got down on her level and explained she had been naughty by screaming at Mummy and that is why she was on the naughty mat. I picked her up for a cuddle and asked if she understood. She said 'no' but I think she did have an idea at least.

I haven't checked if I followed this correctly according to Super Nanny's wise rules. I'm pretty sure I didn't and even though this was hours ago, I'm still stinging from it. It's the first time I've had to be so tough on her and it was horrible. Necessary. But horrible.

I will check the book today but I needed to forget it for yesterday. I was afraid I've done it wrong and I wasn't ready yet to read that. I can't believe it has made me feel so bad. I will read it and make sure I know it better for next time. And I'm sure there will be a next time. Hopefully not just yet. I'd like another day of her usual adorable-ness before I have to deal with the realisation that my baby is growing up. And the terrible two's are very much on their way.

Wish me luck!!

WM xx

Also noted, lesson to self: don't try and be WM ALL the time. It would have been easier if I had asked Mr Big to help. Lesson learnt. And Mr Big, also please note from this that sometimes don't ask me if I need you. Just assume the answer is yes. It will be. I always need you :)