We have been in Corona Lockdown for 5 weeks and the cracks are starting to show. Work does seem to have calmed down a little, which is a blessing, however not so for Mr Big. So where some wives/partners are no doubt going out of their minds with their husbands/partners suddenly being 'locked home' with them, Mr Big disappears out to the office, pops back for lunch, then disappears again until his usual home time.
Well, most of the time...and I have really tried to ensure he can do that, by meeting everyone's perpetual and consistent gazillion needs a day, so he can be left to just focus on his work...
...however, yesterday was no ordinary day and yours truly had just about had enough!
I could sustain it no more. The pressure valve burst. AKA Mummy had a mahoosive meltdown!!
I think we all reach a breaking point and mine was in most spectacular fashion. We seemed to have an inversely proportional relationship between my levels of patience and my youngest's levels of screeching.
That's his '5-weeks-new' trick. The 'screech'. He is pre-verbal and so this is his way of telling us he is not happy. However being a toddler, he is not happy, and then happy, and then really not happy, and then back to happy - all in a heart beat! Emotional rollercoaster doesn't even begin to cover it. He does the entire theme park in a single moment. It's EXHAUSTING!
I honestly had forgotten how challenging this stage can be. When they know precisely what they want, except their mind and moods are transient and change with the wind! There is no method I have learned yet to be able to remain consistently ahead of their demands at this point as they don't know how, why or what they will change their mind about from one moment to the next, so what chance do we have of predicting?!!
It's liken this stage to having a really drunk friend following you around all the time. Causing chaos. Doing things that make no sense. Talking complete gibberish but being very cross when no one, least of all you, has the faintest idea what they are on about. Except even when your friend is really pushing your limits, you are safe in the knowledge the evening will eventually end, they will eventually fall asleep and they will be back to normal the next day, aside from their raging karmic hangover. And therein lies the difference between Annoying Drunk Friend and Annoying Toddler Child - Drunk Friend sobers up!!
So, after 5 WEEKS of The Screech, I could take no more. And yesterday was the cataclysmic parent-fail day where I just couldn't cope another moment. I just got really mad. Not aggressive mad. The kind of can't stop crying mad. There was initially shouting on my part, followed by more shouting as the day went on, and then eventual 'Mr Big come out of your office and take back charge of your children NOW before I lose it in such fantastic fashion I will never be quite the same EVER AGAIN' shouting, then a LOT of crying.
The latter worked. For all his faults (of which there are many, I routinely point out, allegedly) he is calm in a crisis and he has a soft spot for being a Knight in Shining Armour. This is a double edged sword as, on the one hand, if I fall, I know hand-on-heart he will always be there to scoop me back up and will protect me at all costs. However, on the other hand, I have to be 'bad enough' to feature on his 'White Knight' radar. So calmly explaining is routinely and without exception tuned out.
So in he rides on his metaphorical steed to save the day and thankfully, he took over where I could not. I took myself away for a few brief moments, and when I had recovered sufficiently to be able to breathe without the need of a brown paper bag, I was able to return, relatively renewed, and in a calmer state than before.
I was left feeling a little wounded after my outburst, and we agreed we needed to find 'a new way' to manage things as clearly, 5 weeks of being a perpetual slave and tending to the physical and emotional needs of the three had taken its toll on me. I was the elastic band that has stretched too far. I had sprung back back, I was not broken, but I was also not quite the same as before.
Cue today. New day. New strategy. And the return of the DAY SLEEP.
We left day sleeps behind over a year ago, so the thought of returning to that model seemed a likely failure. However, I am sat here typing this for the first time since I can remember with NO children in the room and I am drinking a HOT coffee.
I took youngest to bed for a story after lunch (and the inevitable poo) and we had a lovely story, followed by a snuggle while we rocked in the rocking chair. I counted silently to one hundred as I also shut my eyes and enjoyed the moment. By one hundred he was sound asleep. I put him down, he stirred but did not wake, and here we are now...
...and BREATHE...
I feel like a shiny new pin!
WM x
Well, most of the time...and I have really tried to ensure he can do that, by meeting everyone's perpetual and consistent gazillion needs a day, so he can be left to just focus on his work...
...however, yesterday was no ordinary day and yours truly had just about had enough!
I could sustain it no more. The pressure valve burst. AKA Mummy had a mahoosive meltdown!!
I think we all reach a breaking point and mine was in most spectacular fashion. We seemed to have an inversely proportional relationship between my levels of patience and my youngest's levels of screeching.
That's his '5-weeks-new' trick. The 'screech'. He is pre-verbal and so this is his way of telling us he is not happy. However being a toddler, he is not happy, and then happy, and then really not happy, and then back to happy - all in a heart beat! Emotional rollercoaster doesn't even begin to cover it. He does the entire theme park in a single moment. It's EXHAUSTING!
I honestly had forgotten how challenging this stage can be. When they know precisely what they want, except their mind and moods are transient and change with the wind! There is no method I have learned yet to be able to remain consistently ahead of their demands at this point as they don't know how, why or what they will change their mind about from one moment to the next, so what chance do we have of predicting?!!
It's liken this stage to having a really drunk friend following you around all the time. Causing chaos. Doing things that make no sense. Talking complete gibberish but being very cross when no one, least of all you, has the faintest idea what they are on about. Except even when your friend is really pushing your limits, you are safe in the knowledge the evening will eventually end, they will eventually fall asleep and they will be back to normal the next day, aside from their raging karmic hangover. And therein lies the difference between Annoying Drunk Friend and Annoying Toddler Child - Drunk Friend sobers up!!
So, after 5 WEEKS of The Screech, I could take no more. And yesterday was the cataclysmic parent-fail day where I just couldn't cope another moment. I just got really mad. Not aggressive mad. The kind of can't stop crying mad. There was initially shouting on my part, followed by more shouting as the day went on, and then eventual 'Mr Big come out of your office and take back charge of your children NOW before I lose it in such fantastic fashion I will never be quite the same EVER AGAIN' shouting, then a LOT of crying.
The latter worked. For all his faults (of which there are many, I routinely point out, allegedly) he is calm in a crisis and he has a soft spot for being a Knight in Shining Armour. This is a double edged sword as, on the one hand, if I fall, I know hand-on-heart he will always be there to scoop me back up and will protect me at all costs. However, on the other hand, I have to be 'bad enough' to feature on his 'White Knight' radar. So calmly explaining is routinely and without exception tuned out.
So in he rides on his metaphorical steed to save the day and thankfully, he took over where I could not. I took myself away for a few brief moments, and when I had recovered sufficiently to be able to breathe without the need of a brown paper bag, I was able to return, relatively renewed, and in a calmer state than before.
I was left feeling a little wounded after my outburst, and we agreed we needed to find 'a new way' to manage things as clearly, 5 weeks of being a perpetual slave and tending to the physical and emotional needs of the three had taken its toll on me. I was the elastic band that has stretched too far. I had sprung back back, I was not broken, but I was also not quite the same as before.
Cue today. New day. New strategy. And the return of the DAY SLEEP.
We left day sleeps behind over a year ago, so the thought of returning to that model seemed a likely failure. However, I am sat here typing this for the first time since I can remember with NO children in the room and I am drinking a HOT coffee.
I took youngest to bed for a story after lunch (and the inevitable poo) and we had a lovely story, followed by a snuggle while we rocked in the rocking chair. I counted silently to one hundred as I also shut my eyes and enjoyed the moment. By one hundred he was sound asleep. I put him down, he stirred but did not wake, and here we are now...
...and BREATHE...
I feel like a shiny new pin!
WM x
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